Contemplating the End

I had an MRI done on Monday. It’s a test I do annually to monitor a potential issue, and once again the results showed no changes and nothing suspicious. While in the MRI machine, amidst the whirring and clanging, my thoughts started to focus on what the results would show. Admittedly, I am a “glass half empty” kind of guy, and I like to imagine the worst-case scenario, probably as a coping mechanism to cushion any potential bad news. I had reason to be worried, as my wife had the same MRI test and it confirmed a fatal diagnosis.

However, I was surprisingly calm, even after imagining the worst. I don’t welcome death, but I no longer fear it. I am now approaching the average life expectancy age of a male in the U.S., so perhaps I feel that my life would not be cut short if I died. However, considering that my dad is still kicking at ninety-eight, one might say that I would have died way before my time. I think that the real reason for my lack of fear is my belief that we are more than our physical bodies, and our consciousness (mind or soul if you prefer) lives on. Changing the way that you feel about death can liberate you while you are in this physical world.

On a lighter note, I was at one of our retreats when I got an email from my doctor’s office confirming my MRI appointment time. Also included were instructions that I should fart for four hours before the appointment. Did I read that correctly? I showed it to several friends, and each one started cracking up. In trying to make some sense of these instructions I reasoned that perhaps excess gas might cloud the image. I did think that they should have used a medical term, or even “pass gas” vs. fart, but I still tried to rationalize this. Later that evening, while everyone was still talking about my directive, my friend realized that this was a typo and should have said “fast.” I am a writer, and you would think that I should have recognized this….but no. I then replied to the person who sent the email asking if it was OK if I fasted for four hours instead, as I did not think that I could sustain a four-hour fart. Her reply was OMG! With a bunch of smiley faces.