Searching for Answers

We often talk about the difference between inner spiritual knowing and rational evidence-based belief. I was sifting through some moldy papers that were salvaged from the recent flooding in my home, and I came upon a printed transcript of an “instant message” conversation between me and my wife Phran. This took place in January of 2003, three months after my daughter Bailey died. I was sitting in my office, desperately trying to find a reason for living, and Phran was home, trying to help me formulate something to grasp onto:

Me: I’m still searching for what I believe in – that’s why I thought an intro into Kaballah would give me more to choose from, or to eliminate. I need to believe in something for sure to get through this. I know that you are sure.

Phran: You will never PROVE any of this, so eventually you have to come to the realization that you need to become more comfortable with one philosophy….even if it is a philosophy that you have created for yourself.

Me: Yeah, I know. That is why I’m still searching to formalize some belief that I can use

Phran: You cried in your dreams… Just a dream with her you wanted. Then you got your dream visit and were still not satisfied.

Me: I cried because I miss her – not because I didn’t believe.

Phran: That will never stop. Every time we think of her we will cry. It will eventually have less pain when we cry.

Phran: Then you were still not satisfied. You asked for a sign, and you got your sign. And you weren’t happy with the sign…you wanted to destroy the sign’s meaning

Me: I wasn’t absolutely convinced it was a sign and not my subconscious

Phran: OK, follow me on this. There is a soul. It gets put into a body with a mind. You know, body, mind and soul…that’s where it comes from. We should have been born in an Eastern country! Anyways….The soul is placed in a body, so that it can have a mind. This mind guides the body through life. The mind stays with the soul, but the memory is like a computer. You keep the current things on your desktop with shortcuts so they are always accessible. The old stuff that you need to refer to (long term memory) is stored on your hard drive. The stuff from past lives, that you rarely (if ever) need to recall, are stored as part of “operational programs”. Bill Gates has no idea what he discovered!

Me: The past life part is the part I still need to work out

Phran: What part of past life do you need to sort/…I think I have all the answers

Me: I need to figure out how it relates to religion and fate. I am not sure about either. If you believe in past lives, I believe that you must also believe in fate. If you were “put” back here for a reason, there must be some sort of plan

Phran: No, I don’t agree, and past lives do not have to relate to religion or fate. Only if you “believe” in religion or fate. So, you need to first decide for yourself if you believe in religion or fate. The only Plan is to fuel the LIGHT

Me: So you believe that you were put here for a reason, to learn lessons, and the Light takes over after you pass from this earthly existence, but everything is still random?

Phran: No, not exactly. Let’s start from the beginning…a very good place to start. You want a discussion? A lecture? A theory, or a lesson? Questions will be taken at the end…..are you ready?

Me: Yes

Phran: Step one: The Light. The Light is the supreme center of all: Sustainer of souls. The Light (or God if you wish) is 100% energy. According to physics, energy continues. But, like the sun, will eventually die out – unless it is fueled. Moving towards the Light is giving more energy to the Light….so as souls learn more (and build on their energy) and move closer to the Light, they give or share that energy with the Light

Step two: The Masters

The Masters are those closest to the Light. Think about this: we on Earth, like other planes, get our concepts all from the central concept of The Light and how it functions. Masters are the most learned, and therefore closest to the Light. They are also, by virtue of all that they have “experienced”, those with the most energy and knowledge. Energy for The Light and Knowledge for all the souls beneath them. It’s a tri-level hierarchy.

Step Three: The Souls

The Souls exist on a fair (excuse the very necessary pun) playground, made up of many different rides or planes. One of the many planes (the only one we know because we are here} is the Human Experience. Since we know only of the Human Experience, we will use this as the example. A soul goes to a ride at the fair for the experience. Or, a soul goes to the Human Experience to learn how to love, etc. …..the lessons of life, as we call them here. There is so much to learn before a soul has “perfect karma” and can graduate to The Masters. The soul will learn from experiences, both good and bad, in many lifetimes. Each time the soul completes a lifetime (or a ride), a life review is presented and the memories are placed in that soul’s data bank. Like saving it to a file. You can access it in your human experience only if you have the proper program (like regression therapy). As a soul, however, on the “other side” you have constant access to all these files, or memories…they are part of you and your energy, All these files (lifetimes) are stored in one hard drive (the individual soul).

OK – it’s question and answer time

Me: So, specifically re: Bailey – she passed by random? Was the learning experience on this go-around over?

Phran: She passed over as a result of a random act, but her lesson was learned

Me: There has to be a “first” life for everyone – how do we know that this wasn’t her first?

Phran: Yes, this go-around is over. We are merely humans and we have only one way to know if it is a first human experience or a fiftieth human experience. That is apparently regression therapy. We can surmise that this was NOT her first, or close to it, by her worldliness.

Me: So what you learn by this earth experience, or previous experiences, has no specific relation to your length of stay on this plane

Phran: Correct, there is no relationship in what you learn and your length of stay. You need only learn something, and the assumption is that we are always learning something.

Phran: Also note this. By comparison, it is a much better feeling to be on the other side than having to deal with the human experience. Given the choice to return to the Light, having learned adequate lessons (not necessarily all that one may have learned if they remained}, it makes sense that a soul would look for that opportunity for a “break” from human nature!

Me: I feel like I am talking with a Master

Phran: Are you learning?

Me: Yes

Phran: Then you are with a Master. Did I make you smile?

Me: Yes

Phran: Then you are with an exceptional Master

Me: You may have to keep giving me refresher courses to keep me going. I have a tendency to forget.

Phran: I think you have learned quite well

Me: OK, I am going back to this trivial bullshit so I can come home to the Master

Phran: OK, but remember this – that “trivial bullshit” will benefit someone, somewhere, somehow.